Monday, June 15, 2009
Please notice the time of my post. Yes, it's very LATE and I'm very TIRED. I'm sorry if this get's too long for you. I'm okay if you stop here but, who knows, maybe this will inspire you. I hope so.
I'm going to share one of my personal challenges in hopes that it may help you to know that we are not alone in our trials. We have each other. We can lift each other and support each other in times of illness, sadness, grief, and pain. We can also share in the joyous moments, too.
I'm a firm believer that "We are the Creators of Our Own Happiness" which means when faced with adversity we can choose to be happy or choose to be miserable. This doesn't mean we can't be sad or mad but, we need to snap out of it as fast as we can and see the blessings in our lives and even ask for divine guidance and understanding. I'm grateful for the happiness, the faith, the love, the joy, the peace, the strength and the courage that comes to me through the Gospel of Jesus Christ. My faith defines who I am and I'm a better person because of my beliefs.
So, here's what's been keeping me up LATE. . .
Kenna is having 3 baby teeth pulled (the teeth are hanging on tight) and she needs 2 fillings. She's going to be put out for the procedure. Read on and you will understand.
First off, my husband has anxiety and had his first anxiety attack when he was in his early 30's and his father has anxiety and coped with it by drinking. It consumed his life and he became an alcoholic (good news: he is now a recovered alcoholic). Even my husband's grandmother had anxiety. So you can see that anxiety is a part of my children's genetics. I don't think we realized that our kids would be affected by anxiety (most kids have fears) until our youngest was diagnosed two years ago with GAD also known as Generalized Anxiety Disorder and then I looked back and realized oh yes, all my kids have experienced different anxieties in their lives but it wasn't as debilitating as it's been for Kenna. It's too the point where she can't function at times.
Now that Kenna's a little older she usually copes pretty well but at times it turns into a full blown anxiety attack like tonight. She's deathly (ha ha) afraid of dying and so being put out for her dental procedure or flying in an airplane or getting lost or the fear of a car crash causes her extreme anxiety. Sometimes I get impatient and tell her to just STOP it and then we go into the let's manage your fear mode where we talk about it, that usually helps. Now that she's 10 years old she's really starting to recognize that she's different. She gets mad at herself and tells me she hates anxiety and wishes she didn't have it. My responsibility as her loving mother is to make sure she FACES her FEARS. That is one of the best things I can do for her. She's quite a dare devil which is really funny. She loves to ride horses, participate in gymnastics, softball, soccer, skiing and rock climbing too. She's very athletic so I keep her busy and focused on her talents.
It can be hard as a parent to see your kids suffer with any kind of debilitating circumstances whether physical or emotional. Often, I feel like it's a silent disability that many people don't understand and people can be very judgmental and critical. Most people have been pretty supportive but it makes it hard for her to function and she WORRIES (chronically) about everything, especially what people think about her. Often, I'm her voice of reason.
I remember at the end of 3rd grade her teacher was telling me how much she enjoyed Kenna and that she hoped that she would GROW OUT OF HER ANXIETY. I kind of laughed and corrected her by saying that she would never really GROW OUT OF IT but that she would learn how to better COPE with it and then it would seem like she had GROWN OUT OF IT!
It's very late now (2:37am) and I better get to bed. I'm sorry to ramble on a bit and I hope you don't mind my sharing but it will help you understand what keeps me from posting regularly on my blog. I really appreciate all of you that follow my blog and leave comments. I've had a great time visiting, emailing, and getting to know many of you.
I'm so grateful for all the love and support!